I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
The air taste purple.
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