I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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