if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
