I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize