I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
