haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
