I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize