Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
