I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
