Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize