i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
