so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
