...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Sober January is a disaster.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
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Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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