If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Boobs speak an international language.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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