Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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