I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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