she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize