i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
being pregnant is like rehab
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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