so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
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Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.