PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
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My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.