Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.