i'm home, then i'll come over
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We are two peas in an std pod
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad