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So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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