taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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