It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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