singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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