All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
