So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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