U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
