Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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