the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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