I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
