38 yer olds are good kisserssss
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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