oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
