I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
