WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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