I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
