Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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