I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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