Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
