in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
