Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Drunk is not a location!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
