Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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