so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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