I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
