I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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