My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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