Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
