u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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