Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: eviction party
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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