I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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