the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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