Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
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I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize