It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
