why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you win again, gameday.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
