Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
