You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I currently don't understand fingers.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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