I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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