It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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