i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have aggressive nipples.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
