bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
