Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
