uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
